Good day Cyberspace. Man, it is dark in--Owww!! I just tripped over-- what is that-- oh forget it. As I begin my journey across cyberspace, I come to you not as a Gentile or Jew, not a Kappa or a Que. I do not even come to you as a black, a white or either a brown man. And no I don't come as a Democrat or a Republi-CAN. Nooooo, my friends I come to you as something much, much more. I come to you this day, as a Blogger! Yes, people, a B-L-O-G-G-E-R, blogger! A self-centered s.o.b, who wants to serve his id with instantaneous, anonymous comments and become a journalist sans performing the pesky, little duty called fact-checking (which is essentially, ground-zero of the profession). Then again, fact-checking never stopped Jayson Blair, so let the blogging begin.
Yes, I have been coerced by societal conventions, or is it seduced by societal inventions-- Owww!!! Would somebody clean up in here?! Anyway I have created my first blog. Yes, deep down in the South African mines of my narcissistic, little brain, I like other bloggers, believe that we have little gems wedged in our untapped, synapses, that people will be read with reverence. From there my true Cheeto dust finger-tipped, energy drink chugging fans, will congregate at coffee-houses and in break rooms across America as they heat up their Hot Pockets and speak of my work the same way they speak of other talented columnists. "Hey, did you read what P.J. O'Rourke said today about the glitch in Hillary's healthcare plan?" or "Did you read what Jason Whitlock wrote about Donovan McNabb's time being up in Philly?" Wait, scratch that J. Whitlock comparison, because that's like being likened to, Larry Elder or Alan Keyes, or whoever is the right-wing's new nigger doujour. Yes, I said it. I don't use the term "N-Word" and not because I don't understand the word's horrendous history. I totally understand, but it totally insults us all when we act like the 500 pound silverback isn't sitting in the room munching a on a banana. But I digress, now dare I dream and blaspheme that one day someone may mention my name in the same paragraph-- no the same conversation as the godfather of all "take-no-prisoners-and-no-shit" writers, Ralph Wiley (let us take 30 seconds of silence in honor of the late Mr. Wiley before continuing with this entry). Thank you. Now as I was saying-- Damn!!! I tripped again. Am I just this clumsy or do they need to clean up this cyberspace As I was saying, I am now a part of the blogging community and I hope I am here to stay. From what I have gathered the key to being a great blogger is having a strong point of view and rigid beliefs even in the face of being totally wrong to the point of humilation (i.e. George W. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfield)
If you have gotten this far, you know the name of my blog is "Diablo's Bastille". At this point, you may ask, "Why"? Well, because there's a deeper reason for the title, but honestly it was just some cool shit to title a column. Folks, it's the twenty-first century and in the bout of style versus substance, style obliterated substance somewhere between MTV, Milli Vanilli and diva wide receivers. So think if this thing could actually catch on? We'd have people riding the bus or the "L" train saying stuff like, "Yo, did you read Diablo yesterday?" or "Man, you need to peep out The Bastille-- Rusty is going the hell off." As I type I feel a warm glow in the cockles of my heart, I realize that Al Gore's dream of the internet, aka "The Information Super Highway", has made our global community smaller to exchange ideas has finally come to fruition. Why just yesterday I stumbled upon a way to make a cheaper pipe bomb and a website dedicated to loving interracial couples, who displayed their to lovemaking skill sets to the world for only $13.99 a month-- $4.99 for the 7 day trial offer.
Shit!!! I stubbed my toe again! Somebody needs to clean up around here, right now! Being that I am not limited by man or beast and just my imagination and those days I can't really think of anything to write. I will speak on various subjects, no matter how big or small. From Obama to OB-GYN's. What will decide the subject of the day? Where ever the wind takes me, but you know it's going to be hot because it's written by me-- ow!!! dammit-- okay people, what the hell have I been tripping over all of this time, people?! Oh, that's just my ego.
Now Follow Me to Freedom!
