MINORITY MINORITY REPORT

The new EBONY magazine is out and the cover is graced with “real housewife” of Atlanta and now sitcom star Nene Leakes. Now over the past few years I’ve accepted “reality” TV and it’s hot personality of the minute but seeing Nene on the cover of EBONY took me aback. Just last month President Obama and his wife Michelle were on the cover. I can’t help but think you went from the leader of the free world to a woman claiming to be a housewife but really isn’t. I can already hear the cries of “hater”, “let Nene get hers” and “STFU” but my issue or should I say discovery wasn’t Nene or her newfound fame. What I am discovering I am now a minority within a minority. Behavior that used to be deemed inappropriate was now the status quo in the black community. Flava Flav, Nene, Stevie J and the Basketball Wives—sidepieces—hoes—whatever they are called are controlling the narrative of black America or at least the ones that are focused on. I won’t say I don’t know these people or haven’t seen them in this life but media outlets be it TV, film or print would have you think they are the majority of black America and that’s sad. I can’t lie I cringe at Nene in the new sitcom The New Normal not because she took work from real actresses—okay I do a little, but it’s why she has the role. I recently saw her on a morning news show and she said that when she met with the show creator Ryan Murphy he said “We were looking for actresses who act sassy and do what Nene Leakes does and we thought why don’t we just get Nene Leakes and let her be herself”. Sadly, the Nene Leakes that the world knows is a paradigm of pathology of black women, which is sassy, lip pursing, neck rolling and hip holding. I couldn’t help but recall the impetus of Dave Chappelle’s exit from his titular hit Comedy Central show to the Motherland. Dave was doing a sketch called the Nigger Pixie and he noticed one of the crew who was not of color was laughing in a different manner then most people. Dave realized what he was doing may have been sending a message that he didn’t need to perpetrate. Black people don’t always have enough great images to fight the negative images as seen during a time where a black man is the leader of the free world. I can’t help but recall the film A Soldier’s Story and Adolph Ceasar in his classic role as Sgt. Waters. He had a line that will always live with me forever. He told an imprisoned soldier, CJ, whose behavior he thought to be coonish and an embarrassment to black people, “the black race can’t afford you no more C.J.”. Can you understand what that is saying? During that time period there were probably twenty million black Americans in the country and Sgt Waters felt this one man’s behavior held back the progress of a whole race. While I don’t think Nene can do that alone, she contributes to a team of all-stars that do. Now Follow Me! Follow Me To Freedom!

RETURN OF THE PHOENIX, MORE LIKE A PELICAN

There is a Democratic president, Notre Dame University is the number one football team in America and I haven’t had sex in a “minute”. Did I hitch a ride in a Delorean with Doc Brown back to the year 1992? Why no, it is the year of our Lord, 2012. I can truly say I am happy about one of my revelations but there is no need to go into further specifics on what happening has grasped on to my jocularity. Those few sentences are the pseudo-clever way I wanted to begin my first entry in months in my blog Diablo’s Bastille. I intended to Chicago two-step you with a brief jaunt back to a better times in our nation and dip you with an eighties movie reference. Pretty darn cool but so very antiquated huh? I thought so too after I typed and read it, but I’ve been planning this entry for months and I realized that you can never be too careful in planning your introduction—or re-entry into the blogosphere in this case. I kept debating myself like Obama/Romney on how to start my first blog entry back. I didn’t want to disappoint whatever lucky internet traveler who would come upon my ‘cascading discourse’ (patent pending on that phrase). You know what they say about first impressions, “first impressions are lasting”. Now I don’t know any members of this mythical, group, who seem to be some of the most, sage people on the Earth, recognized only by the pronoun “they”, but still I trust their vague and unsubstantiated opinions. So upon my journey back to “post entry” begins. When I first fell off on doing my blog, I told myself, you’ll get back to doing it next week. Next week turns into two weeks and two weeks turns into volunteer hours at your daughter’s school, a paid writing assignment, life in general and a few days trying to catch up on everything in my DVR. With the passage of time and distance between myself and my last entry the ante is now upped -- in my mind of course -- to a level that I feel my next five hundred words must read l like WAR & PEACE, THE FIRE NEXT TIME or whatever is atop the New York Times best seller list – oh God it’s one of Bill O’Reilly’s rectum created tomes. Of course I then must wring my hands over what the first subject I shall write about in my first blog entry back. I so wanted to do a piece during the presidential campaign and catch the heat of the Mitt Romney and President Obama giving us a verbal Hearns/Hagler in the daily 24 hour news cycle, but I thought my mythical public would just say “how clichéd of you ”. So I refrained and then thought my last entry was about my beloved New Orleans Saints and the infamous BountyGate scandal. The Saints have rebounded from an, 0 and 5 beginning, to get back to a present 5 and 5 record. I felt my imparting a story about this beloved underdog from my personal, POV would gain myself a click fest and a wave of comments. Who doesn’t like the underdog regaining their proverbial footing? I was beginning to think a number of people because I quickly jettisoned that idea. As my doubt seeped further and further into my thoughts I figured I’d step away from the idea and think about other infamous planned comebacks and how I could possibly model myself after them. So I began to amass a list of great comebacks. Ex-Washington, DC Mayor Marion Berry ran for mayor after a crack cocaine conviction and won. The man was good and so was his return -- almost phoenix-like, but I couldn’t mirror my first blog back to “that got damn bitch set me up”. Then I thought about Betty White’s recent resurgence but then again, I don’t want to people to read my blog for nostalgia of my better blogs, I feel I’ve got better blog entries in my future. Then I thought about the most popular comeback in history…. Jesus Christ. Love him or not the Dude knew how to make an impactful comeback. I began to wonder, as Jesus lay in the tomb for three days did He make a conscious decision to not do big theatrics and just appear? He knew Easter Sunday was his Super Bowl, He had turned water into wine and brought someone back from the dead already. Did the question of style influence Him as it has weighted so heavy on my mind in my quest to return in electronic glory on the internet? After much deliberation I came to a decision on how to return to Diablo’s Bastille based on two thoughts. The first was from comedian/actor/Fat Albert creating/Pudding Pop selling Bill Cosby who said “you can’t please everyone, so you better please yourself” and the second thought was from myself, don’t write over than 850 words. This totals 847. Now Follow Me, Follow Me To Freedom