Thursday, March 28, 2013

KEEPING IT ONE HUN'ID (100%)

"Let me tell you somethin!" That was the signature catch phrase of Fire Marshall Bill. One of Jim Carrey's many characters on the popular 90's sketch show In Living Color. When I was first introduced to that character, I did not know what to make of it but I stayed with Jim because of the energy he put into that character. He was manic and going one hundred miles per hour in his performance. But that is how he was with all his characters, even secondary characters in a sketch. If he played Ricky Ricardo in a sketch titled I LOVE LAQUITA, he didn't play Ricky, he WAS Ricky. If he played a nine year old sitting on Homey D. Clown's lap, he was an annoying 9 year old with all the bells, whistles and ticks of a 9 year old kid. I've been revisiting the canon of Jim Carrey because I recently saw the film, THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE, in which Jim played a goth-type, self inflicting pain magician against Steve Carell's titular Burt Wonderstone. The movie going crowd was sparse and I would say the laughs the returned to the screen were too. But for me, when there were laughs it was for Jim Carrey who was going all out to make us laugh. Be it, acting as if he held his urine for eleven straight days or periodically screaming bloody murder because he was sleeping on hot coals. My personal favorite drilling a hole in his head with an actual power drill. It was a truly silly film in the vein of Austin Powers but it was funny in my humble opinion. Now I may be talking matinee or "dollar show" funny, only because it costs to go to the movie in this economy. Even if it's a blockbuster, I get pissed about the prices. Hell, I'm still upset about the money I dropped on The Avengers, but that's another time, another blog. After the film, I went home to see the reviews of the film and as I thought they were not all positive, but despite the negativity they all spoke of Jim Carrey's 'balls to the wall', 'gonzo' performance as this David Blaine/Criss Angel type street magician. Mind you if you surf the web of recent and Jim Carrey has been placed into the elephant graveyard right next to one Edward Reagan Murphy aka Eddie Murphy to us non Murphy family members. I then perused Carrey's filmography. Each and every performance I recalled and there was not one performance, no matter how poorly the film did financially, did Diamond Jim Carrey phone his performance in. As much as I want to say Eddie has never phoned in a performance, there are a few where he looked like he was doing his "tough street brother" schtick from a villa in Monte Carlo. But trust me Eddie belongs in the hashtag-underappreciated category too. But back to Jim, be it Lemony Snickets, Bruce Almighty, The Grinch, a cameo on The Office or just accepting an MTV Movie Award like a Jim Morrison knock off-- the dude puts in work on any character he does. I guess I've always appreciated him, even his dramatic work, which I suggest you screen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Man On the Moon or The Majestic. All three are earnest performances, The Majestic is a throwback to the Billy wilder films of days gone by and has a bit of treacle with no cutter, but nonetheless James dives into the character. No matter, what acting choices he took, he TOOK them and as my old football coaches would say, "Even if you're doing it wrong, just give me 100%." And that's what Jim does. I wrote this entry because in a general sense I try to appreciate people before their photo is over the shoulder of a newscaster reporting their death. On a micro level, I appreciate that Jim knows he is paid handsomely for what he does and like him or hate him he tries to give you your money's worth if possible. Jimbo keeps it hun'id! Now Follow Me! Follow Me to Freedom!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

FIFTY SHADES OF GAY? (OR I HIT A WALL ON A TITLE)

I know people falling on both sides of the latest Washington, DC battle, which is the Supreme Court’s hearing arguments on California’s Proposition 8, which bans same sex marriage. I don’t believe all people who disagree with same sex marriage hate the gay community. Though I’ve seen a few on TV declaring gay people have an express line to a horrific afterlife, be it in a burning cavern, a TSA line or listening to Gangnam Style forever on loop. I also don’t think being gay means you can force religions to change their thousands years old practices, beliefs and sometimes questionable mandates. Can someone say no pork, shellfish and tattoos? Me thinks the entire NBA is going straight to Hell on The Surf N Turf Tattoo Express. I believe in life there are no absolutes, there is no black and white, there are only shades of grey – please no 50 Shades of Grey book jokes (they’re not tired, just not humorous). First of all, in general I believe Prop 8 and DOMA should be knocked down. Why? Because this is a human rights issue —plain and simple-- and not an issue of one type of union desecrating or killing another type of union. Because if that were the case, Elizabeth Taylor, Kim Kardashian, Jerry Springer guests and numerous abusive relationships have already put the act of marriage on a life support machine. Gay couples only want the same rights that heterosexual couples already possess via marriage. When I say marriage, I mean the union, the legal contract and NOT the religious sacrament as mentioned in various religious tomes. Heaven forbid, if a gay member of the military gets killed in battle, I know their significant other would like to be immediately alerted to that fact. Presently, due to DOMA and Section 3 of Prop 8 that would not happen. Can you imagine learning, in a roundabout, secondhand manner, that the person you deeply loved, and shared a life for years, has been killed? Yeah, I thought you’d feel that way. While we are all not Christian, Jewish, Muslim or any other so-called religion but we can all claim VIP membership in the human race. When you belong to the country club you’re entitled to juice bar, sauna and tennis court privileges as everyone else. These couples are not asking to have the Christian, Jewish or Muslim faiths change their steelo for anybody. They are only asking for the rights they are entitled to as human beings. Many years ago, the thought of an African American person marrying a Caucasian person was considered perverse. As time has passed, the world has discovered that an interracial marriage is not a union created by Lucifer. Low and behold our president, of these Unite States, is the product of a union that would once be called deviant and illegal in many of this country’s southern states. I will admit as a child I had antiquated views on the gay community but with time and growth I’ve become quite the hypocrite (in a good way). This happened because my views are completely different in my understanding of the gay community, for which I now have friends. Many, may not be as I am to see the plight of the gay community through rainbow colored glasses. I now see that they want nothing more than to live a life with the people they want to love, raise a family and provide security and health benefits as most people do. Mother Teresa said once, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” And if I’ve heard anything from religion and rappers going on trial, “Only God Can Judge”. Now Follow Me! Follow Me To Freedom!

Monday, March 25, 2013

ROZAY + WEEZY(STUDIO TIME) = IGNORANCE

Rappers Rick Ross and Young Money CEO, Lil’ Wayne in recent months have respectively dropped some new verses that don’t toe the line, they run totally past it without any recognition that the line even exists. Rick Rozay AKA William Leonard Roberts AKA The Dude with Presidents Lincoln and Washington tattooed on his breasts (because that’s what they are) does a guest spot on Def Jam emcee Rocko’s, “You Don’t Even Know It”. This former corrections officer rhymes, “Put molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it/ I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain’t even know it.” This man, who took the moniker of former crack dealer Freeway Ricky Ross’ as his stage name, states that he slipped a “molly” into a woman’s drink. There’s no question here, a "molly" is a rape drug not a pain reliever a ****ing drug used to make violating women easier and big man Rick is bragging about it. If there’s any question of Ricky’s intention, he follows up with a line stating that “I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain’t even know it”. He is now bragging that he had his way with the woman and she was all the ignorant to the violation of her body due to her drugged state. Now I am not calling Mr. Roberts a rapist but he is a man, who is for sure perpetuating pure unadulterated rape to a young group of his followers, who sometimes cannot decipher between right and wrong. Then again, it’s quite obvious that Rozay Rapey cannot decipher between right and wrong either. Then there’s New Orleans lost child and ‘rapper’, Lil Wayne AKA Dwayne Michael Carter, showing his talent for hyperbole, who rhymed, on the remix of Karate Chop that he, “Beat the p**** up like Emmett Till”. He actually compared his sexual skills to the senseless beating of a 14 year old boy, whose only crime was being a black boy admiring a white girl. Since Weezy —-by his own estimation -– is the Greatest rapper… alive. I can’t comprehend what would not make him feel a tad queasy about this phrasing when the image of Emmett Till’s battered body is conjured up. Then again I shouldn’t really expect responsibility from a man, who regularly intakes codeine for sport and has four children by four different women. He can't control his penis, I can't expect the same of his mouth. I guess I have one real question, on the lyrics of Fatman & Stripe. Between the CD pressing plant, the final mix of the songs, the ad-lib pass, the 1st take, the smoking of weed and drinking of cognac at 2AM in the studio; did anyone think to say ‘Weezy you might not want to compare the thrusting of your penis to savage beating of a child’ or ‘Rozay you might not want to imply that you drugged and raped a woman’. Can hip hop get a licensed, non-partisaned lyric monitor (no coast or area affiliation) to just be brutally honest with ignorant emcees who are surrounded by a bunch of yes men? Because just because something sounds clever, doesn’t mean that it is. Now Follow Me. Follow Me to Freedom!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

MARCH MEDIOCRITY OR MARCH MAGIC

What the (insert proper curse word here) is a Florida Gulf Coast University?! That was the phrase exclaimed at TV’s across the nation by casual bracketers, college basketball fans, and Vegas gamblers after the many unexpected upsets took place during the first few rounds of the NCAA Men’s basketball tournament. One of the larger upsets has to be the revered and feared, #2 seeded Georgetown Hoyas of NW Washington DC getting smashed from beginning to final buzzer by upstart college Florida Gulf Coast University (they have yet to yet to celebrate a silver anniversary) and neophyte basketball program (its 2nd year of post season eligibility). Georgetown University is 224 years old and has been a national basketball powerhouse since the early 1980’s birthed by one John Thompson, which makes it so sad, that it’s being buried by his son, John Thompson III. But let us not pull focus on the Hoyas, there were a few highly seeded programs that were upended, such as, the #12 seeded LaSalle beating Kansas State, #12 Ole Miss beating #5 Wisconsin, #1 seeded Gonzaga Zags were scared by HBCU Southern University (GO JAGS) and they were literally shocked with a loss to the #9 seeded Wichita Shockers and my personal favorite, the #14 Harvard Crimson triumphing over Lobos of the #3 seeded University of New Mexico. As I browse the many forms of media, I sense an overwhelming feeling of contempt for the parity in this year’s tournament. Which begs the “what in the hell do you want America?” This is the tournament we’ve been asking for all of our lives. Unexplainable, blue collar, ‘I ain’t scurred’, ‘little engine that could’ teams making national powers publicly cry for which we we’ve got no answer. The term “March Madness” wasn’t coined because highly seeded collegiate basketball teams demolish lower seeded teams as expected. No, it was created because of the maddening confusion in these David versus Goliath wins. That is the beauty of the race to the Final Four. The BS sports writer fueled speculation, seeding based on the regular season or conference tournament wins doesn’t matter. As long as you’re one of the 68 teams chosen, your five players, just line up against another five players for 48 minutes and whoever has more points at the final buzzer advances to the next round. We’ve seen these teams throughout the years of this fabled tournament. Matter of fact, they have their own special nickname, ‘Cinderrella’. We’ve seen them before, The Cleveland States, the Richmond Spiders, the VCU’s, the Murray States, the George Masons and presently, the mighty Eagles of Florida Gulf Coast University (est 1991). Each year we see that one Cinderella team go deep in the tourney only to have the glass slipper turn into a pumpkin soon but this year we’ve had numerous David like teams beat highly seeded Goliaths and we need to enjoy this. Matter of fact we’ve lived long enough to see a perennial, Cinderella team in Gonzaga University develop into #1 seeded program. Yet, I hear and read the complaints from fans and media, ‘it’s not the same quality of college basketball as in years past’. Two years ago, a Butler Bulldog program came within one great looking, half-court shot, of a national championship over Duke. Did we see a Duke basketball team on the decline or a Butler program on the rise? I believe we saw the playing field finally leveling off, where seeds may be nothing but a number in the future. In era of ‘one-and-done’, the 5 star blue chip athletes are going to the Dukes, the Kentuckys, the Carolinas and other national powers with no intent on staying and the players that these national powers pass on go to smaller schools with the intent on staying for more than a year. These athletes who could be playing multiple years for these national powers are playing together for years at these mid majors and raising the level of play on those campuses. National powers are annually having their team rhythm and development interrupted by the defection of a ‘one-and-done’ player to the NBA. Prior to the ‘one-and-done’ exodus we saw young talented teams grow into very formidable collegiate lineups, as we saw with Georgetown in the 80’s or Duke in the 90’s. Well now it just happens at the Butlers, the George Masons and the VCU’s are doing it. It's like we cheer for the little man to make the climb but once he gets his fingers to the top of the mountain we want to step on his hand. People have complained for years about predictability of the tourney and people are now complaining about the upsets while witnessing may be the greatest NCAA tournament in history. Call me crazy, but if Creighton, LaSalle, Miami and Florida Gulf Coast make it to the Final Four, I’m booking a flight to the ATL. Now Follow Me. Follow Me to Freedom.